Since I’m so behind on my blog posts, I haven’t posted about my engagement just yet, but YAY- I’m engaged and will be marrying the love of my life next October. So, what does it mean being both a wedding planner and a bride?! Well, complete craziness.
I have yet to tell someone of my engagement and not have them say “I bet your wedding is going to be awesome” (hopefully) or “I’m sure you have the whole the planned” (not quite!) or a variation of that “You probably know exactly what you want” (nope nope nope). Let me give you guys a little insight….
I am the most indecisive person when it comes to make decisions for myself–seriously, its bad. I find it much easier helping other people decide things, or guiding them in the right direction. I mean, I can barely decide what I want to eat most days. So, no, I don’t know exactly what I want and no I don’t have the whole thing planned. I always thought I knew what I wanted, but literally, the minute the ring was on my finger, my entire wedding that I had planned since I was 12 changed. What matters most to me are my guests, my family and friends that have loved me, cared for me and been there for me who are traveling or stepping out of their comfort zones to celebrate one of the biggest days of my life with me. In determining ceremony and reception location, that was all that mattered to me– the convenience of my guests.
Now– that’s not to say I don’t love where we will be saying our “I dos”, I do, but it’s not the place I had originally envisioned. 🙂 The decisions that I thought would be so easy to make are so hard and the hard ones– like venue– are easy because I know what’s important to me for that day.
The other thing that people are just assuming is that I know EXACTLY which vendors I want to use….. I don’t. Being a wedding planner means I work with a lot of vendors and I have my favorites, but I have like 6 favorites for each photographer or caterer or florist, etc. I’m able to see how they work with me as a professional and how they work on the wedding day, so I know how awesome my “favorites” are which makes the decision process all the more difficult. To make it easier, I’ve had to rely solely on budget constraints because yes, I do have a budget as well 🙂
3. Being a Bride
Ugh… this is so hard!!!! I keep having moments where I forget that I’m planning my wedding and that I am a bride. I’m fearful that I won’t have the same experiences as non-planner brides do because I know what to do and how to do it, I know my vendors, I’ve worked with them and will work with them before and after my wedding, but I want to still feel like a bride and have that same experience. The flip side of that is that when something goes wrong (we’ve already had a small hiccup), I (in my “bride” mind) get super emotional and yes, cry. Finding the balance is hard. I’m so thankful that I have my best friends and awesome family as well as my fabulous fiancé to remind me that “Hey, you deal with issues like these every day, you got this”– that’s all it takes and the planner face is back on and the situation is taken care of.
4. Having an awesome wedding
Pressure pressure pressure– that’s al lot of what I’m feeling!! 🙂 Everyone thinks that since I’m a planner, my wedding is going to be amaze-balls, and, hopefully it is, but I keep feeling this crazy sense of pressure to have a super awesome, over the top wedding with crazy things like unicorns and fire breathers in order to impress everyone. The thing about it though is that for me, what will make my wedding awesome is if all of my guests have a really good time. While yes, I want things to look really pretty, the only thing that really matters to me is that my fiancé and I are surrounded by the people we love and that love us. I want our wedding day to be filled with so much joy and happiness and I want us to start our marriage the way we feel is right and that is in the house of the Lord with our family and friends there ready to celebrate with us– all the rest is lagniappe.
So for all of you out there wondering, being a wedding planner-bride is hard. It’s hard remembering that I’m a bride and when I get a little emotional, its hard to remember that I know how to fix whatever the problem is because I deal with those issues every day. It’s hard deciding what I want and don’t want since I’ve seen so much, its hard saying that I just want everything to be simple and have people expecting something really over the top. It’s hard deciding what vendors I want because the ones I love, I really love and I not only love their work, but I love their personalities too.
Now, don’t take this as a “woe is me” post, because it’s not. I’m incredibly happy and excited about where I am with everything. It has been and will continue to be a crazy, wonderful experience, and I’m so blessed to have the options I have, the opportunity I have and the experience of doing what I love while preparing to marry the man I love.
Many blessings yall!!
“Let all that you do be done in love” 1Cor 16:14